My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
