the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
