is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
