chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize