TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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