You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
