apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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