If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just googled if crying burns calories
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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