he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
