I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
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Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
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We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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