I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
