A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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