Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
