Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
