That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
