I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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