she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do herpes really smell.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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