Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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