that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
kristin has been a bad kristin
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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