She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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