Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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