Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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