either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
