no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
