There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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