No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
is it fun? or sober?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
