I am spending my child support on dildos
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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