I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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