im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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