I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
