My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
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All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
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I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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