I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
