Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
