Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize