"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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