The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
