Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize