if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
