are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize