She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
