Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
