would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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