She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
