I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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