Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
