hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
