She's JV to your varsity
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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