party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
