I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
