after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
