that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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