hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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