respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
