Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
