he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES