do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.