we have officially lost it.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
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I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
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I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.