Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize