At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
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At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
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