I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
