You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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