If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
