Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Bring me that man meat
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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