I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
