Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need a beard to bite.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
