It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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