one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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