its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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