but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
