Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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